I don't remember my first experience with self doubt, but I do remember my most prominent. I was 17, I had just left high school and I felt huge pressure to have my next step mapped out in front of me. I thought I had to go to university - weren't we convinced that we couldn't be successful without it? All of my friends were already enrolled, they had it totally figured out...didn't they? I didn't want to go though, so I found a job working full time. During this period, I was way too hard on myself. I dreaded the, 'so what do you do' question, because I felt as though people would be seriously disappointed by the answer. What I didn't realise at the time, was that I wasn't so alone after all. EVERYONE was still figuring it out, just a little differently to me. I had spent way too long selling myself short, for these years taught me many valuable things. This was my first experience of beginning to accept myself and the path that I am on. I began realising that my journey was SO okay, and I should never compare it to others.
Self doubt can actually be quite a handy thing. Sometimes it's just what we need to pop us back on track when we've forgotten how awesome we really are. You can feel SO great, KNOW you've got this, and then a couple of hours later...there's no way you're leaving the house because you can't stand the thought of ANYONE wittnessing your bad hair day. Yes, they suck (bad hair days I mean), but it's ALL about perspective...someone might love the way your hair looks today. After all, everything is just perception - there's actually no definition of bad hair, only the one you've created yourself. This applies to everything. You've got to show up if you want to feel good. You can't water a plant for three days, and then leave it to it's own devices for another five and expect it to still be as lush and vibrant as it was when you were watering it. Overcoming self doubt means sprinkling a little self love on top of your day, every day. Especially the days you definitely don't feel like it. These are the days you need it most. You're not the pimple on your nose, the grumpy customer or the bad hair day - you're someone who cannot be defined by thoughts and emotions, and someone who is always able to change the way they feel! Now this is powerful.
Now don't worry, I too have had many sucky-self-sabotage moments in my life, and here's a few of them...
> I'm not smart enough to go to university and become a nutritionist...even though it's my biggest passion.
> I'm not good enough to be loved long term by my partner...when being good enough for someone is definitely not a thing!
> Who am I to write a blog about health and wellness...I don't know enough! Even though the truth is...at any stage in our lives, we all can teach everyone something. Like I said before, over coming those challenging thoughts can be tough at times. This is why we need to work at creating a strong foundation built upon self-belief, so when these self-sabotaging suckers strike, we can choose to not let them win. Here is what has helped me in the past;
Now these can be super helpful. Changing your beliefs begins with your thoughts, so repeating affirmations will help to reprogram your brain into thinking more positively. Before creating Haven of Health, I went through a serious period of self doubt. Even though I knew it was something I needed to do, I definitely felt a strong wave of angst around it all. My favourite affirmation during this period was, I am a smart and intelligent woman who is perfectly capable of following my heart and sharing this passion with others. Whenever I was uncertain, I would continuously repeat these words until the doubt disappeared!
Feel the fear and do it anyway! When we tell ourselves we can't do something, it's not that we actually can't, it's that we currently believe we can't. Hand in hand with affirmations, taking action reinforces that you actually CAN do that thing, even if you doubted it at first. The more you do it, the more you believe you can. Soon believing in your abilities will become second nature to you.
Practicing Self Love;
We hear it all the time, and most likely, by now, you're begging for new advice. But self love is some seriously powerful stuff, and solid self belief doesn't stand a chance without it! When we love ourselves, we are less likely to doubt our abilities and deny ourselves of those incredible things that can sometimes be super scary at first. We wouldn't want to hold ourselves back from things that we know are going to be great, because we are certain that we deserve them.
Where in your life are you experiencing self doubt? In these moments, it is wonderful to remember that we are all good enough, and we all have something to offer the world. Each of us holds a set of skills that no one else can do the same as we can. So why would we ever consider holding ourselves back? You tell me...
Love and wellness,